“Hey, Mom! I met this girl…” It was my oldest son calling, just a few months after leaving home for college. His voice was tremulous. Perhaps he thought I was going to scold him, tell him he was too young to get “involved.”
He was young, but I didn’t think telling him that wasn’t going to change anything when he was six hundred and thirty miles away and out of the house. He was a man, growing into independence and all that manhood brings with it. So we talked. I asked about this young lady. Thrilled, he voiced his admiration. We talked about ways to grow the friendship safely, ways to protect her heart, strategies to remain accountable. He listened, eager to do things “the right way.”
We have an odd policy in our home. Odd by modern standards, but not by God’s. I’m not saying this is the only right way to do things, but we believe it fits God’s design. Our kids don’t recreational date. No boyfriends or girlfriends in those early teen years. What’s the purpose? What does dating accomplish that can’t be accomplished by being friends and hanging out in group settings? Once our kids are old enough to start looking for a marriage partner, then they are old enough to start dating. Then their dating has a purpose: Is this the person God would have them marry?
This by no means forces them to marry the first one they date, but we believe it saves a whole lot of heartache that comes with giving your heart when your heart is too young to be given.
See why this phone call was such a big deal?
As soon as I hung up with him, I got online and made travel reservations for two weeks out. I was going to meet this young lady before the relationship grew any closer. My husband’s work didn’t allow him to make the trip, but we talked often.
The moment I met her, I knew my son struck gold.
They were young. (My son was the youngest student on campus.) Still, they were determined to hold to God’s standards. They made it through college, and made it through almost a year apart (living in separate states) while they worked before they married.
She’s a keeper. So is he.
I found out later than my son actually told his then girlfriend (regarding me flying out to meet her) that if I didn’t approve, they would break up. Why? Because he trusted that I had his best interest at heart, and would only speak up if I saw danger signs. Wow. I was humbled and awestruck to realize how much our son esteems our opinions. I don’t think he was too worried. My son has impeccable taste. She didn’t appear too nervous either. Perhaps she hid it really well!
Last year, I got a call from son number two. “Hey, Mom! I met this girl…
The wedding is set for the end of this year, and I couldn’t be happier with his choice.
My husband and I were talking the other night about our favorite topic of conversation: our children. “You know?” I said, “If you can in a small way gauge your success as a parent by the person your kid decides to marry, we’ve done pretty good!”
With weddings and marriages on my mind, I decided to write a few posts on hints for a successful marriage. If you have followed any of my previous posts, you’ll realize that this is one of my favorite topics. I love being married, and am thrilled to watch our kids embark on this life journey with wisdom and enthusiasm.
Doug and I just celebrated thirty-four years! I barely remember my life before him, but I know it wasn’t nearly as interesting (and satisfying) as the last thirty-four!
Here’s to my kids and their amazing spouses!
My daughter and her husband. Can it really be eight years already?
My oldest son and his bride of three and half years!
My husband and I thirty-four years ago! Were we ever that young?
How about this! We just celebrated my in-laws’ 60th anniversary! An example well set!
And here’s to the next happy couple!
May you dance together the rest of your lives!
“An excellent wife, who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.” Proverbs 31:10